Suits and Ties
by chaann
Summary: AU - While working at a suit store, Deidara gets a visit from an older customer who only blabs away. Tired of listening, Deidara decides to just smile, nod, and say yes to everything. After a moment of zoning out Deidara realizes he's just agreed to something and he's not sure what! Sasodei/Yaoi/Oneshot


Tan nimble hands quickly continued to fold mens shirts that were looked at and carelessly tossed aside by a person who wasn't even looking to buy it. "Seriously people need to stop doing this, yeah." the man muttered under his breath.

When the man had applied to work at the store, he was hoping to gain some experience at tailoring and sizing clothes, even being a personal buyer for rich men who were too important or busy to do it themselves! Certainly not stuck folding clothes and working a till.

He walked back to the till and tucked his long blond fringe behind his ear in a huff before leaning on the counter to watch the old woman go back to picking up things, walk to the other side of the store just to put it down in the wrong place.

"Excuse me sir...Deidara?" She called as she approached the man and reading his name tag. "I'm looking for something nice for my grandson, you see, he recently got a promotion and I would like him to look good." She explained taking out a photo book from her wallet. She leaned over the counter and started showing off the photos she had accumulated of the man over the years, most however being of him as a baby or young child. "This is what he looks like, isn't he precious? Isn't his red hair lovely? It's just like his fathers. He's grown to be so handsome and talented and successful..."

Deidara just nodded as the old woman continued to babble on about how wonder her grandson was but didn't listen. Unfortunately this was another part of his job that he truly hated, yet had to put up with.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

"What's are your hobbies?"

"Uhh? Art, un."

This was getting a little weird for the blond as he decided to just tune her out. She began to talk about he grandson again anyways, so he thought he could get away with smiling and nodding. Best to get some work done while she babbled, anyway.

"That's wonderful! Thank you for doing this for me, I'm sure he'll be so happy!"

The blond jumped as he realized the woman had asked him something and that he had actually agreed. Unfortunately he had been stupid enough to not only not listen but to agree anyway. Whatever the woman had asked for, it was probably not his job and that he should have called someone else to see if they could do it.

"Great great, I'll tell him later tonight to come by tomorrow evening!" She said turning around an heading to the door, "By the way! His name is Sasori!" And with that she was gone.

"What the hell did I agree to, un?"

Deidara sat in his chair at the till picking at his nails anxiously. It was starting to become evening and the man had not shown up yet. It was almost six so the store would be closing pretty soon. Surly the man wouldn't show up at the very last moment and keep him in the store after hours. Perhaps he would be coming in the door...nooooooooow. Now? Nnnnnow.

Hopefully he hadn't agreed to something the store didn't even offer, or that he'd do someone's job and they would get mad. There was no one even in today! They didn't do tailoring on the weekends, or personal shopping. It was just sales - just him.

Noooow.

Now. Now. Nnnnnow.

Another loud sigh for the day came from the salesman. This was eating away at his nerves.

A loud jingle at the door caused Deidara to shriek and fall out of his chair behind the counter. 'Way to make a great first impression to the customer, Deidara.' He grumbled.

Once the customer heard and saw the blond, he stopped at the entrance and just watched and waited for the other to get off the floor.

Clearly the stranger was not the type of man to assist someone in need.

"You Deidara?" The man snapped not giving the worker a second glance as he started looking through a rack of crisp beige shirts awkwardly.

"Un, yes. I assume you're Sasori?"

"Yes, my Grandmother suggested I come here. Apparently you'll do the job?"

"The job... Yeah... Uh..."

"What don't tell me you've changed your mind? How unprofessional. Here we thought we had finally found a place willing to do the work, and you cancel on us. How deplorable."

"It's not that!"

The redhead snarled and turned his head the side and then upwards. "Oh? Then what is it?"

Deidara huffed and began to squirm as he confessed, "I don't even know what I agreed too! Not to look unprofessional, just tell me what I agreed too and I will do it, just don't tell my boss, please!"

Sasori turned his head back down and faced the spastic blond, "You seriously didn't know what you agreed to when you spoke to my grandmother?"

"Well...no."

The customer sighed and began rubbing the bridge of his nose, shoving the glasses he was wearing upwards before deciding to take them off.

Deidara had to admit the man was good looking. If he could guess, he'd say the man was his age, maybe a year or so older. He was also dressed in a black tight fit suit and had a black and brown pin stripe tie.

"I told her this was a terrible idea. She always does stupid things like this! Why do women always do such stupid things!" He scowled bitterly and slammed his fist on the checkout counter.

Deidara felt a pang of guilt for not listening in the first place. If he had, this wouldn't be a problem and this man wouldn't be so furious.

Deidara frowned and then smiled as he placed a hand over the other mans scrunched fist, "What ever she asked of me I'll still do it, no matter what it is. I'm sure it isn't too far out of my capabilities anyway, yeah."

Sasori's eyes followed the arm up to the blonds smiling face and scowled. "Fine. But after I inform you what you agreed to, you can't say no."

"Sure."

"You agreed to go out on a date with me."

Deidara's jaw dropped and his eyebrows shot up. What a weird thing for a grandmother to do for her grandson. Had Sasori been secretly crushing on Deidara? Did the man need a good lay to burn off some stress and relive some of that shitty attitude? Why didn't he just get a male prostitute? Was this guy secretly fifty and just needed to settle down?

"Uh, ok. But why?"

Sasori whined into his hand, "because there is an event for work tonight, I needed a date and refused to take a gross girl!"

"Gross? Really? How mature...Wait, tonight?" Deidara sputtered at the fact he'd be going to a - most likely formal - party full of wealthy people.

"Yes and you said you'd do it! So grab a rental suit, I'll pay, and lets go!"

Deidara sighed and thought for a moment, 'If the party is full of rich prospectors, some might have young sons, or be young themselves and may be good boyfriend material for awhile. Get a few good gifts...live off his money for awhile...could be great!' He eyed up the angry redhead tapping his finger on his crossed arms, 'Zero chance of this douche being a good choice, he sure is an ass...'

"Alright, give me one moment." Deidara nodded and ran to a rack grabbing a formal black suit and headed to the change room all as Sasori rapped his fingers and tapped his foot.

Sasori got tired of waiting fairly quick and yelled across the store that he would be waiting in the luxury car parked out front of the store entrance. Deidara got the suit on and clocked out and almost ran out of the store, but not before running a brush from his bag through his hair and lowering his upper ponytail so it sat flat against his head. A honk from the car alerted Deidara to hurry up, so he quickly applied a fresh coat of eyeliner over the old layer and rushed out to the passenger back seat beside Sasori.

"Sorry about that, yeah!"

Sasori just glared at Deidara before huffing, "At least you cleaned up nice. I had a hunch you could look more attractive, but not this much." He then muttered quietly "Chiyo made a good choice..."

Deidara blushed and tucked his fringe behind his ear, "Th-thank you."

Sasori only grunted in response as they drove off to the event in silence.

When they got to the party Deidara's eyes sparkled at how big and beautiful the mansion was. This was going to be an evening to remember...

"You're my date. Act like a boyfriend."

Deidara raised an eyebrow, "I thought I was a date as in someone you could go with so you don't look like a lonesome loser, yeah."

Sasori grit his teeth. "You could be like that, but I need to look exceptionally good. Besides, I actually have been telling people I can't associate with them since I'm seeing someone who needs my constant attention..."

"When you actually haven't."

"Bingo."

Deidara took a deep breath and latched himself onto the redheads arm, catching the other off guard and making him send a glare. "You want a boyfriend who will make you look good, you got it, Dan-na~"

Sasori only sneered at he blond making him pout back. "Wow, you dont date much if this is how you treat a boyfriend, yeah."

Not responding to that remark, they entered the building and as soon as they did, a tall older man quickly approached the pair and stuck a hand out which Sasori returned only to have it shaken violently and pulled into a agressive hug with copious amounts of back slapping.

"Akasuna, my boy! Haven't seen you in awhile!" He laughed before he looked at a confused and alert Deidara who had had the man he was holding onto yanked away. "You must be his boyfriend! You little devil! You're the reason why I haven't been seeing this guy at the golf range! Names Jiraiya, nice to meet you!" And shot his hand out to the blond.

Deidara took the hand and was drug into a harsh hug as well. "N-nice to, to meet you sir! I'm Deidara, yeah." As he was let go from the hug, and before the older man could start talking he performed his act. "You are one of the nasty guys trying to take my hunky Danna away..." He pouted and grabbed a hold of Sasori again, pressing his lips to his neck as he kept eye contact with the new guy. "You're soo mean, Mr. Jiraiya."

Sasori raised his eyebrows in surprise as the known 'ladies man' turned pink.

Jiraiya laughed again loudly and slapped his leg. "Sure Deidara, I'll lay off bugging your man." He looked at Sasori "Akasuna you got yourself a keeper! Me-ow!" And headed off to greet more people.

Sasori turned to the blond and he likewise turned to the redhead. "Good work Brat..."

Deidara in turn smiled and leaned up to peck Sasori on the lips. "No problem, Hunky-Danna."

The evening went by smoothly. Deidara played the part of the sexy, love struck boyfriend perfectly. Flirted with a few people, but mostly with the Sasori and overall made the all-in-all unlikeable man sparkle like a finely cut diamond. He laughed at all the redheads jokes, brought drinks, fed him hors d'oeuvres in romantic and sweet ways. He even learned a lot about the red haired dickwad. Apparently he was fond of art, made puppets as art, he didn't have parents and was constantly being bothered by the old woman who came to the shop in the first place.

But after everyone they talked to, all praise went to Sasori for landing such a kind, interesting, beauty. Not to mention how unfortunate that it must be for the blond since the other common thing to say was, "You're so sweet! Why are you with such a dreary man like Sasori?"

Deidara didn't mind it though since in the end, he was having a blast. He wondered how Sasori was doing, since he was so quiet while he was having fun. So much fun he was getting tired of sitting around. It was time to get up and associate with new people and -

"Deidara."

"Hm? Yes?"

"That guy with the black hair coming towards us, he's the enemy, always trying to take what's mine. Don't let him get in your head." Sasori whispered quickly and wrapped his own arm around Deidara's waist for the first time this evening.

Deidara blushed and snuggled into the redhead in retaliation to keep the act up.

A couple other men quickly found there place just beside them and started talking Sasori, causing him to pull away. Deidara huffed and looked over to his side to see the black haired man had taken a seat beside him.

"Hello, my name is Itachi Uchiha..."

"Of Uchiha Clothing and Accessories!?" Deidara jumped up excitedly, completely forgetting what Sasori had just told him moments ago.

"The very same. Say you're here with our dear Sasori aren't you?"

Deidara glanced at Sasori who had clenched fist and a locked jaw yet remained talking to the older men who had sat down to chat. That's right. This cool, attractive rich guy was Sasori's enemy. Stay focused.

"Yes! Sasori is my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? With a grouch like him? You beautiful thing could be doing..." His hand started grazing the blonds knee, "so much better..."

Deidara's eyelashes fluttered at the flattery and then laughed. He quickly caught himself, he was here to help Sasori no matter what. He gave his word.

Deidara smiled, leaned in towards Itachi's ear and whispered. "Well you see, I can't do better than Sasori, not anymore at least, un."

Itachi raised a brow. "And why is that?"

"He ruined me."

The raven haired male furrowed his eyebrows and nodded in hopes the other male would continue and explain further.

"You see, I used to be a good boy. I followed the rules until... My Danna came into my life..." Deidara's voice got lower and huskier making Itachi lean in to hear better. "I became addicted even before the moment he stole my virginity. It was actually at a party, just, like, this."

Itachi swallowed hard and nodded.

"I couldn't take being around him any longer! His smell, his touches - they were driving me mad. So he took me to a back room and had his way with me. The kissing, the licking, the biting!" Deidara moaned and chewed his finger. "Makes me hot just thinking about it, and his... you know. And boy does he know how to use it."

Itachi shifted in his seat yet still remained close to the blond.

"I love it when he grinds up against my ass and caresses my stomach, hips. The way his hands move up and yank on my nipples until they're sooo sore... The bruises he leaves even turn me on the next day."

By now the men had left Sasori out of the conversation, but he still remained there with this back to Deidara, intently listening to what was going on behind him.

Deidara clicked his tongue and smiled some more, "Mm, his dick gets to hard and it's just a treat to put it in my mouth...and when it's all wet and ready to be plunged into my tight wet hole... Mmm it's so good." He yanked his suit jacket open as if to let a gust of air in like he was getting hoot himself.

Itachi began chewing on his bottom lip.

"Because I'm flexible, he takes advantage of all the fun positions he can pound into me with. My voice goes raw from screaming 'Danna, Dannaaa' over and over as we go at it for hours - his stamina is so good~"

Sasori began chewing his lip too.

"After he's done cumming all over my face, back and ass; he sits there and watches as the cum pours from my gaping hole. Tastes good from his finger too..."

Both men began to sweat for real.

Deidara looked around briefly as if he were about to tell a big secret. "And sometimes I even wear the most ridiculous outfits, just so he'll fuck me like a madman. The cum stains on them just top them off. And when he yanks my hair as he fucks my ass or mouth...oh honey that's the good stuff, yeah."

Deidara then turned to face Sasori's back, wrapped his arms around his waist and took a deep breath as he looked back at Itachi with a disdained expression, "So no, I can't do better... I've been fucking soiled. I'm filthy."

Itachi wiped at the sweat around his brow and nodded vigorously. "O-okay, I'm just going to...get some air. Good day to you..." And ran off in an awkward manner.

"Deidara..."

Deidara blushed at the mans voice behind him and let go shey he other could turn to face him. "Uhmm, what's up Sasori?"

Sasori raised a brow and corned the blond against the couch with his body. "Sasori? Not Danna anymore?"

Deidara's blush grew darker and looked away. "Boy, is it just me or did all that yapping make me hot?" He half muttered to himself. He turned his focus back the Sasori and grabbed the collar of the others dress shirt as dragged his finger along the pale neck peaking out. "And about what I was saying earlier...can you even do those things?"

"There's only one way to find out."

Sasori jumped up dragging Deidara with him. He lead him down multiple hallways , to a bedroom far out of sight. They finally got to an empty and probably unused room. Sasori yanked off his tie and hung it on the door knob before shoving the blond in and locking it.

"We won't get in trouble, yeah?" Deidara asked a little concerned as he began removing his own tie.

"Of course not. It's expected that young rich people will get to have a fuck at these lame parties."

"So you've done this before?" Asked Deidara finally getting the damn tie off.

"Well, no. But I'm telling the truth about us being ok."

When they entered the room, Deidara spotted the bed and took the lead in shoving the redhead onto it. He stood above him and started undoing the many buttons of his dress shirt and slid the suit jacket off with it onto the floor.

Sasori smirked, "you really are hot."

Deidara rolled his eyes at the fact the other man could say that with what looked like a water bottle shoved down the front of his pants. Deidara could be hot as in sexy. Sasori was just hot for Deidara.

Sasori caught onto Deidaras gaze and began removing his own clothes. He only got to his boxers until a very naked blond jumped on him, crushing their teeth and tongues together in a heated kiss.

Sasori decided he didn't like being below the blond, flipped the position and began running his tongue down the tan neck slowly. When he reached the base to where Deidara shuddered, he took the amount of skin and sucked on it till it was bright red and purple.

While Sasori admired his handy work, Deidara raised a hand and ran it over the spot. "Is it pretty, un?" He asked huskily.

"So much that I think you need more."

Sasori's head went back down and ended up at the blonds chest. His hands roamed the chest and finished their journey at the already hard nubs. He smirked as he grabbed one of them and twisted it painfully, ending it with a tug.

Deidara voiced his pain but bucked up against the man on top of him as he was sure any objections he made would be ignored, so why not distract him with something else?

Sasori continued however but ground down while tugging on the both of them. Deidara told Itachi he made them black and blue; so he would make them black and blue. Deidara dragged his nails through red hair and conitued to grind up. Smirking and deciding he had tugged on them enough with his hands, he put his mouth to work and ground them between his teeth harshly before sucking them still they were speckled with purple.

"Beautiful." Sasori murmured as he looked down at his handy work.

He looked over the younger males body once more and leaned down, kissing down the smooth chest. He arrived at the belly button and stuck his tongue in quickly before biting it as well, making Deidara yelp in surprise. He moved to the protruding hip bones and dragged his tongue up the one lightly and ghosted his fingers carefully on the other.

Deidara squirmed in delight, making his hard erection brush against the redheads neck and shoulder. Sasori glanced down at the red length and smiled as he wrapped his hand around the base and squeezed it harshly eating an even louder yelp than when he bit the belly button.

"Nooo!" Groaned Deidara swatting away the pale hand still gripping him harshly. Sasori sighed and let the length go. Sure he liked being a mean dom, but he had to respect the body of the person who was basically going to let a dick ram up into his asshole.

Sasori sighed and decided it was time to move on. He then yanked Deidara up and onto his knees so he was face to head with his own leaking dick, holding on tight to the very blond hair the younger had mentioned while talking to Itachi earlier.

Deidara looked up at the man above him holding his hair as smirked. His long pink tongue slipped out between his lips and and began swirling around the head. The grip on his hair tightened as Sasori pulled on his face was pressed up against the twitching cock making it hard for him to tease.

Deidara rolled his eyes in an irritated way and put the whole thing in his mouth as began to suck. Sasori's eyes rolled back as well momentarily but for a different reason - pleasure.

He groaned as Deidara hummed around the length momentarily. His grip got tighter but pulled less so Deidara could slowly pull back with a pop at the end. Not immediately putting it back in his mouth, he blew on the head with a gust of cool air making Sasori shudder and growl down at him angrily. Deidara returned the expression with a scrunched expression and an air kiss.

Sasori snorted at the immaturity and grabbed the boy by the shoulders giving him a toss so he was now on his back, still right by the redheads legs. Deidara glanced at the knee beside his head and gave it a kiss. He rolled back onto his stomach as Sasori sat down on his knees and began planting light pink hickies all over the pale thighs presented to him.

"Pretty?" Questioned Sasori poking at all the pink dots.

"Pretty cute, yeah." Deidara chimed rolling a piece of flesh between his teeth.

"Enough." Sasori commanded crawling over the blond so he was facing the blonds ass. Deidara looked back a little concerned and had every right to as his Danna gave it a harsh smack. He continued to watch as Sasori started sucking on three fingers briefly before pulling apart the tan cheeks and shoving one in harshly.

Deidara yelped and squirmed his way up onto his knees, face remaining on the bed and the finger never leaving him. Sasori smiled and pumped the finger in and out faster in a rhythm and added a second finger when he heard the blond sigh, turning it into a groan. He scissored the fingers multiple times and in different directions before adding the last one and doing the same thing.

Before pulling away his fingers from the red swollen hole, he reached and pushed both thumbs in and pulled the muscle apart a few times. He marveled at how it would gape and then clench around his thumbs no matter how he held the area open.

"Do you want this?" Sasori chimed as he pulled away and dragged his dick against the hole, the very tip sliding in comfortably from the long and aggressive stretching.

"Yes Danna, yes!" Deidara moaned pressing back on the tip only to groan when Sasori pulled his hips back.

"How bad do you want it?"

"Really really bad! I want your dick sooo much!" Deidara moaned back even louder. "Make my dirty imagination come true!"

Sasori laughed darkly and let his hip roll under so his cock was pushed against Deidara's. "Thats right, when talking to Itachi you mentioned about losing your virginity at a party like this."

"Mmyeah!" Deidara yelled moving his hips around looking for something.

Sasori continued to sneer. "So that means you're a virgin aren't you..."

Deidara on the other hand was getting fed up. "Yeah yeah, whatever. Fuck meee!"

Sasori didn't need to say anything more as he pulled back and slammed into the right hole. He tilted his head back as it got tighter and tighter as Deidara clenched around him in pain. He didn't move though until the body below him began rocking back.

Smirk pulled back into a smile as Sasori began to slide and in and out, heeding the younger males every command to keep him appeased. Since, what the hey! Sasori was single, Deidara was single and he could tell they were both having a blast as it is, why not do such a good job he could keep Deidara as arm candy, and a real life partner. The kid was also good at making Itachi squirm - that's a bonus.

Deidara's got louder and louder as he pushed back as Sasori thrust in and let out an ever louder yell as his prostrate was hit. He didn't even have to tell Sasori where to aim since he caught on and aimed in the same place. Sasori moaned himself as he listened carefully to the sound of their skin slapping together and the sweet moans coming in and out of being muffled by the bed.

Feeling his own end coming soon, Sasori reached foreword and grabbed the blonds length. Hid face pressed against the smooth tan back he took advantage and began kissing and biting it, leaving even more marks.

"Do I cum on your back or inside?" He said in a husky voice as he referred to one of the last things the blond had mentioned earlier.

"Inside! Insiiiide! I want y-you to fill me, yeah!" Deidara yelled back a little muffled as he chewed on his own arm.

Complying with the blonds wish, Sasori sighed and threw his back as he came inside - the very feeling and a few more pumps sending Deidara over the edge as well. He then fell back and rested on his elbows as he looked at the other male between his own open legs. He chuckled as the blond remained bent over with trembling thighs.

As Deidara began to get down, Sasori got up and grabbed him to old him up. Deidara groaned as he just wanted to lie down.

"Ah ah ah... I still have to watch my cum drip out."

Deidara squealed and did his best to remain there so he could give the redhead what he wanted.

Sasori smirked at the opened hole oozed out with him cum. He wiped it up with his finger and held it in front of Deidara's face.

"You said how yummy my cum was from your ass."

Deidara pursed his lips and opened his mouth enough so Sasori could cram a finger in. He sighed around the finger and sucked all the cum away.

"Yum. Danna does taste extra good, yeah."

Sasori yanked the finger away and flopped on the bed so that they both were on their stomachs. He smiled and Deidara and this time got the same response for the same reason.

"So I take it you're single." Sasori finally piped as he rolled onto his side, propping his head up with his arm.

"Oh yeah." Deidara replied scooting closer, sliding a hand up the other males hip.

"And how do you feel about dating a rich older man with an incredible dick." Sasori suggested pushing the blond hair back from Deidara's face.

"I think you mean 'with the personality of a dick'."

"No, but I'll take that as compliment."

"You really shouldn't, yeah."

Sasori smiled and leaned over as Deidara rolled onto his back and kissed him on the lips. Deidara opened his mouth and let Sasori slide his tongue in, enjoying the feeling of another hung ur on his own and -

"Wait!" Deidara yelled swatting Sasori away and sat up as fast as his sore ass would let him. Sasori followed the motion of getting up but with a confused expression.

"Lets go shopping, buy a skimpy outfit and have you fuck me again at your place, yeah."

Sasori raised a brow.

"I still have more fantasies we need to fulfill!" Deidara hopped up and began putting on his clothes.

"Now?"

Deidara threw Sasori's suit to him, "Now! Lets go old man!"

Sasori gasped as if he were offended. "I'm only twenty-eigh-six!" He yelled back as he began putting his pants on.

"Ohh poor baby and I'm not twenty-two so lets go go go!" Deidara yelled as swatted the bent over butt beside him.

When they left the room Deidara grabbed the redheads tie from the door knob Sand handed it to it's owner.

"No no, we leave that." Sasori said taking his own lead in getting them out of there by grabbing Deidara's hand and dragging him out if there.

"Why?"

"So they know to clean it. Boy you're going to have to learn some things - "

"Cause we're gonna fuck at all the parties, yeah!" Deidara cheered in a low tone so only Sasori could hear his enthusiasim.

They started out to foyer and Sasori happened to make eye contact to a gaping Uchiha who was not even two feet away. He smirked and pulled Deidara into a quick kiss. "Hell yeah we're going to fuck at all the parties." He spoke in a loud tone and pulled Deidara out of the building.

Deidara thought carefully on the ride to Sasori's home. He thought about in particular how much he hates himself in the beginning how he didn't pay attention to the old lady at the store. He hated himself when he thought how his carelessness ended him up on a date with some prude guy. He also thought about how uncomfortable it was being in a suit and tie all evening. Yet now he could only love himself since the night turned out to be great. The suit was still irritating. He'd much rather be naked and in bed.

"Hey, why the big smile?" Sasori asked strumming on the steering wheel as he waited at a red light. "You look like you're planning something mischievous."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Wait. What was that? I wasn't listening, yeah."

Sasori smirked and decodes to take advantage of the situation. "You don't even want to know what you just agreed to."

"Ugh! Dammit."

* * *

><p>i haven't done a yaoi oneshot in awhile so i finished something i started many months ago hahahah. such smutt. Bad ending sorry.<p>

k bye losers.


End file.
